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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24609298">Welcome to Wonder World</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASCLEPIAS/pseuds/Ace'>Ace (ASCLEPIAS)</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASCLEPIAS/pseuds/Jaskier'>Jaskier (ASCLEPIAS)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Clover no Kuni no Alice | Alice in the Country of Clover, Heart no Kuni no Alice | Alice in the Country of Hearts, ジョーカーの国のアリス | Joker no Kuni no Alice | Alice in the Country of Joker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comedy, I don't make the rules here, M/M, Multi, Trans Male Character, Trans canon character, everyone is queer and polyam, except it's just MY sense of humor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:59:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,424</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24609298</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASCLEPIAS/pseuds/Ace, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASCLEPIAS/pseuds/Jaskier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After a fight with his family, TK stumbled off into the woods to cool his head. (Un?)fortunately, the universe had bigger plans for him that day--in the shape of a magic doorway that transported him into the Country of Clovers, where things somehow made less sense to him than suburban Ohio.</p>
<p>By comedic circumstance he gets involved with the Hatter Mafia, and quickly attached to the world at large. Unfortunately, some /clown/ really wants him gone, and everyone keeps bringing up their weird ex girlfriend?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ace (Heart no Kuni no Alice) &amp; Original Character(s), Blood Dupre &amp; Original Character(s), Gray Ringmarc/Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Welcome to Wonder World</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a rewrite of a fic we wrote in 2011-2013 called Welcome to Wonderful Wonder World, but this time it's queer!!! Probably won't be posting more of it until we actually finish a few chapters in advance but figured we'd share since we haven't put up any writing in a while.</p>
<p>CW: References to homophobia/transphobia, unintentional misgendering</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There are tens of thousands of words in the English language and if I had the time to string each and every one along to somehow describe exactly how much I hated that day it probably still wouldn’t be enough. Now, to be fair, probably a good smattering of expletives would get the point across just fine, but gratuitous swearing’s only really fun when you’re the one doing it.</p>
<p>Suffice it to say, the particular string of words exchanged between me and Mom leading up to my dramatic exit from the house resembled the one I’m sparing you of now. (Yeah, you’re fuckin’ welcome.)</p>
<p>If I spent my time telling you all the little details of my life leading up to said fight I’d never get to any of the actually interesting bits, so I’ll briefly summarize: Queer Ohioan Boy’s Mom Still Homophobic, Study Finds. And hey, who knows, maybe she’s right about gay kids going to Hell--I haven’t died yet to verify! But that was not how I wanted to spend my morning, afternoon, night, or ever quite frankly, so bravely forward to the streets of Bridgewater Commons I marched.</p>
<p>With a mouth as loud as mine that kind of thing wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary for us. A couple blocks down from our aggressively suburban house there was a patch of trees (one might qualify it as a forest if desperate enough) that housed a little dirt path folks in The Commons™ aptly dubbed “The Trail(™)” where I was used to riding stuff like that out. To my delight, there weren’t any goblins or grandmas roaming around at the time.I like to think that was a little gift from god as an apology. Thanks, my dude.</p>
<p>Now, I would love to say I noticed right away that in addition to the lack of human visitors there was not a bird or bug to be heard as I wandered aimlessly off the worn trail and into the mild expanse of woods, but I’m not that much of a liar. Maybe if I wasn’t already off my game I’d have picked up on it quicker. As it stands, it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize I’d just wandered right into the start of a creepypasta or something.</p>
<p>There are some places where silence is just fine, but dead in the middle of a park in early summer is absolutely not one of ‘em. But just my luck, it got worse! (Or, in hindsight, way better, but I dare you to go back in time and try telling past-me that.)</p>
<p>“Are you lost?” a singsong voice called out suddenly, nearly making me piss myself.</p>
<p>I didn’t even have a chance to make a smartass retort before another one spoke. “Open me, TK.”</p>
<p>Two problems: one, the voices were coming from nearby but there was not another soul in sight, and two, there were only like four people on the planet who actually called me that and they were all furries I met online from very-much-not-the-forest-behind-my-home.</p>
<p>“Excuse me?” was not the clever jab I would have liked to surprise my creepy-ass ghost friends with, but it was all I got out on such short notice. Quite rudely, the disembodied voices seemed to ignore me, instead just repeating themselves while I scanned the area around me for their hiding spots.</p>
<p>“TK, come open me.”</p>
<p>“If you’re lost we’ll help you.”</p>
<p>More and more voices popped up and I was really starting to wonder how I’d managed to knock myself unconscious on my walk when finally my orbs of vision locked onto yet another out of place thing: a big green door. Attached to a tree.</p>
<p>Again, it would be remiss of me to say like, that I didn’t immediately approach this weird-ass ugly door to nothing and put my grubby hands on it like a baby still learning to reconcile “things I can see” and “things that exist in a physical space”, because I absolutely did exactly that. But in all fairness, I was having a shitty day and some non-corporeal Twitter mutuals of mine were haunting me, so I wasn’t really thinking about consequences at all.</p>
<p>(Spoiler alert: I so rarely thought about consequences, regardless of circumstance.)</p>
<p>Should I have touched the doorknob on the weird tree door while two disembodied voices kept saying “open me”? No! Should I have tried to twist said doorknob? No! But hey, if I could see the future, I probably would have gone on to become some out-of-touch billionaire or something. Instead, I opened that funky forest door (which, technically speaking, I still have no clue as to how it was able to actually move at all, but whatever).</p>
<p>From there it was all downhill, in a manner of speaking. More like in the blink of an eye I was suddenly just in total free fall surrounded by blinding white light, I guess. Probably was a good thing no one else was around then because to this day I wonder how my shrieking didn’t result in me shattering my own eardrums.</p>
<p>I figured if it was all just a nightmare I would have woken up feeling like I’d fallen out of my body, so if I was dreaming I was probably just whole on comatose or something. Besides that the only real figuring I did was that if I wasn’t dreaming, somehow, I was about to be very dead when I hit the ground.</p>
<p>Falling, screaming, falling, screaming. It went on for a horribly long time.</p>
<p>I’m sure it’s very clear that I did not in fact become dead to any degree at that time--of course, I didn’t actually hit the ground at all, technically, so there’s yet another unproven hypothesis for the books.</p>
<p>With an anticlimactic thud I did crash land, just onto a conveniently placed gentleman. Shockingly, despite seemingly all of them wanting to, not a single one of my organs came rocketing out of my body; unshockingly, I was so in shock I couldn’t properly appreciate that fact.</p>
<p>“Wh--Blood? You okay?” This time when I turned my head toward the unfamiliar voice there was (thank god) actually a person attached to it. A very silly looking person, mind you--unfairly tall, carrot-orange hair, and a coat-and-scarf combo that looked so simultaneously modern and outdated it probably would have only fit in at a nerd convention. Oh, and he had rabbit ears. “Who are you?”</p>
<p>I blinked. By the time I remembered what words were to speak, he transformed into a very silly looking person with a gun pointed uncomfortably right at my face.</p>
<p>“Elliot, relax,” the man beneath me groaned, reminding me that I was quite still using him as a cushion. With some effort I rectified that, rolling ungracefully into the grass for lack of more coherent cognitive function.</p>
<p>“But Blood, she attacked you!”</p>
<p>He did no such thing, I griped, mentally.</p>
<p>“If attacking me was the intent, I don’t believe this person is a threat to us at all,” the man I had crushed said dismissively. I had no grounds to feel offended by the remark, but I did, just a little. “Are you alright, Miss?”</p>
<p>With a sharp exhale I finally caught up to myself enough to sit up and properly face my cushion and his bodyguard, though I still did not have nearly enough scruples about me to tolerate the “Miss” business on top of everything else. Sure, they had no way to know I was a dude right off the bat--not like I’d put on a binder or done up my contour all nice for a storming-out-of-the-house session or anything--but there was already a gun in my face and it was hard to get worse than that even if they didn’t appreciate me correcting them.</p>
<p>Besides, the ghosts at the top of the pit knew my name already, so why not just go for it now, too?</p>
<p>“Mister, actually.” I did that cheesy thing trans dudes do where we use the deepest possible voice we can as I said that. “But uh. Yeah, I’m fine, thank you.” I cleared my throat and realized that, with the big issue out of the way, I could probably be at least a little polite to the guy I just knocked into the dirt. Especially since his funky white riding coat, which despite being comparably silly to his companion’s attire radiated “expensive”, was now quite ruined thanks to me. “Sorry--are you okay?”</p>
<p>To my relief he didn’t seem fazed at all. “Ah, my apologies,” he said coolly, standing up and brushing the worst of the grass-and-leaf-debris that stuck to him off. “I’m fine, so no harm done.”</p>
<p>He extended a hand to me to help me up, but by the time I registered that that’s what he was doing I had already bounced up onto my feet anyway. Turned out that despite the fall my body felt pretty much normal once I had a second to be not falling to recover.</p>
<p>The formerly crushed guy waved a hand at his furry companion, who rather reluctantly lowered his gun in response. Whatever weird BDSM thing they had going on, I decidedly supported them.</p>
<p>“Blood Dupre,” he then informed me, extending a hand yet again, presumably this time for a handshake. “A pleasure, Mister...?”</p>
<p>Not at all inappropriately, my thoughts were along the lines of: ‘Excuse me? I’m sorry but on what planet is Blood just an acceptable name? Like. Sign me up for that one, that sounds like Edgelord Heaven and I’m here for it.’</p>
<p>Resisting the urge yet again to be rude, I grabbed his outstretched hand and shook it, vigorously for good measure. “TK. Doesn’t stand for anything, it’s just letters,” I explained, helpfully, as though this unusually polite stranger and his pal needed or cared to know.</p>
<p>“Interesting,” he lied.</p>
<p>I was officially out of reasonable things to say, but was spared from filling the awkward silence by the big rabbit--Elliot, as I would come to learn later, and probably would have known sooner if I had the capacity to take in more than three pieces of new information in a day. “Oh, your hat!” he exclaimed with more concern than seemed necessary for a hat.</p>
<p>Keyword seemed, because as soon as I laid my eyes on the hat in question, sat pitifully on the ground next to where I’d made my grand entrance, I understood completely. It was a top hat with roses and feathers along the brim that made it very much look like a wild third grader had been unleashed upon it at a craft fair</p>
<p>In other words, it was magnificently silly.</p>
<p>That was about the moment when I decided that this man was gonna be my new best friend, if I had any say in the matter.</p>
<p>That was, once I figured out where exactly I was--I was relatively sure that I was dreaming or hallucinating vividly, of course, but on the off chance I wasn’t that would probably be something to know. Since I was closer to the hat (and the ground in general) than either of them, I decided to grace them with some kindness and scooped it up for Mr. Blood, offering it to him with a smile. “Oh uh, by the way, you don’t happen to know how I might get back to Bridgewater from here, do you?”</p>
<p>Graciously accepting the fortunately-not-wrecked headwear and donning it again like a glorious crown, they both gave me a puzzled look. “Huh? There aren’t any bridges around here,” Elliot offered helpfully, tilting his head. His rabbit ears--which, the more I looked at them, the more impressed I was getting with their realism--flopped very cutely to the side as he did so.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid not,” Blood added, equally helpfully. You know, he was impressively patient with me considering I’d just fallen out of the sky (and, evidently, through time and space) onto him. “I’m afraid the place you’re looking for may be farther away than you think, dear.”</p>
<p>Dear. Oh, my gay little heart fluttered. I think I neglected to mention exactly how hot this guy was--bright blue-green eyes, a sharp jawline, a voice with this sexy edge that would have been irritating if it wasn’t so charming, and raven black hair any goth kid would die for. Well, hot to me anyway, I guess that’s subjective. But, oh, dear.</p>
<p>“Huh? So uh, where exactly are we?”</p>
<p>He smiled at that but this time it was... weirdly off putting. Like, it looked like he was up to something. “You’re in the Country of Clovers.”</p>
<p>Ah, of course, that made sense. I was definitely unconscious, I concluded.</p>
<p>“Oh. Cool.”</p>
<p>I don’t know that that was the reaction he expected, but it was all I had at the time. He cleared his throat. “In any case, it’s clear you aren’t from this world; if you’re in need of a place to stay we could gladly put you up for the time being.”</p>
<p>Elliot’s ear twitched, making me wonder exactly how real they actually were. “Are you sure? I mean, last time--”</p>
<p>Blood interrupted him and my curiosity was piqued. “It’s fine, Elliot.” Bunny Boy frowned, but he didn’t push the issue. Whatever happened last time (begging the question of, how frequently were people diving out of the sky in this place?) must have been juicy. He turned back to me pointedly. “Of course, my estate has plenty of space for a guest.”</p>
<p>Oh. Estate. He was hot and fancy.</p>
<p>Anyway, not that I would advise anyone to just mosey off with the first dudes they fell onto after crash-landing into a weirdly named country via a questionably possible doorway in a tree in the woods, mind you--I mean, do what you want, I’m not your boss, but if it backfires for you when you try don’t blame me. But that is exactly what I did.</p>
<p>“Sounds great! ‘Cause like, I totally left my wallet and phone at home so, dunno if I could really find my way back just yet.” Anyway, if nothing else I figured having a place to crash would be a good starting point in figuring out what in the flying fuck was happening assuming I wasn’t in purgatory or whatever. And if I was, not like I had anything better to do, right?</p>
<p>I had no idea what I was getting myself into then, but oh it was gonna be rad.</p>
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